I asked a friend of mine to let me in on a few tips of the Folsom Street Fair and this is what he gave me:

“pee. poop. knees. crawl. rope.”

WTF is the “Folsom Street Fair!?”

Unless you were a BDSM (bondage, discipline, submission, masochism) enthusiast or just a local residence within the vicinity of  7^th and 12^th on Folsom street, you wouldn’t know what was going on this weekend in San Francisco. For the 28^th year, the Folsom Street Fair has attracted deviants and exhibitionists of all kinds from local neighborhoods in San Francisco if not all over California and possibly, the world.

Personally, I’ve only known about the name “Folsom Street Fair” for months now, and I still have no real idea what it is all about, but after hearing about it, I’d sure like to experience if the fair lives up to the rumors.

Before you head out to the festival let me try to decipher my friend’s words of advice so you can prepare for a full experience of the festival in the most consensual and safe way possible.

1. Pee- This advice has been practiced since the very first family trip at the beginning of time. Take care of your basic bodily functions before you head out to the festival, the attendees will surely appreciate this.
2. Poop- This festival may become very revealing depending on how free and open you are to the culture of the festival. Along with the first advice and before you head out to the festival, take some time to take care of number 2.
3. Knees- For this one-day event, full frontal nudity is the status quo, why present yourself fully natural and have dry knees? Didn’t your mother teach you anything? When preparing for the event, remember to SPF and moisturize your back, elbows, and your knees.
4. Crawl- Like a good beer-crawl, and with any luck, you’ll be inebriated but balanced before, during, and after the festival. Prepare for the worst, if it comes to it you can crawl to safety, at least with the last advice, you know you’ve prepared your knees for such an occasion.
5. Rope- I believe this is just in case you get lost. Like those modern day harnesses for children that disguise themselves as animal backpacks, this rope is an obvious signal to pedestrians attending the event that you can easily be lost. This is a good tactic for your friends to know where you are or to let people know that this is something that you’d like to experiment on. Either way, it’s a win-win situation.

Bottom line, heed the advice. If you don’t, just remember that the festival is all for your enjoyment and at your discretion and at your capacity. Remember that “no” means “no” unless, you explicitly communicate that “no” means “yes.” Enjoy your weekend everyone and be safe.